
I am linked up at Live Free Thursdsay with Suzie Eller. Come check it out!
I am linked up at Live Free Thursdsay with Suzie Eller. Come check it out!
Looking back over my life, I would never describe myself as a woman with confidence. However, as the years have gone by the Lord has taken me through various trails and victories, my confidence has increased and is increasing immensely. Along the way (and depending on the day:), I had to realize my confidence wasn’t based off the things I do. It was solely based off my relationship with Jesus and who He is in my life.
Here is what Dictionary.com has to say about the word confident: 1. Having strong belief or full assurance; sure: confident of fulfillment. 2. Sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one’s own abilities, correctness, successfulness. 3. Excessively bold; presumptuous. Did you catch that?
“Having no uncertainty about one’s own ability.”
Personally, I’ve had plenty of uncertainties about my own abilities, and this often led to struggles with my self-confidence; furthermore, In the midst of all those uncertainties, I would forget to turn to God for direction and strength; instead I would let the lies of this world shape who I wanted to be. Let’s take a look at what the world describes as a confident woman:
She pushes her way through life with her head erected high not letting anything, so it seems, get in her way. She appears to have it all together. Everything on her life’s list seems to be checked off. She seems fulfilled. The outer appearance is in check, especially when comparing herself to other women. She is bold and presumptuous, even at the expense of other people’s feelings. She doesn’t need to summit to anyone because she is her own person and has a mind of her own (I wanted to be this woman).
Now let’s look at the confident woman of God. She too has her head held high, but not because she thinks she’s all that, but because she knows the One true giver of all things. She is clothed in the splendor of her Lord. She doesn’t have to judge others because she knows from what she has been forgiven. She is busy going about the work that has been given to her. She knows where her source of energy comes from. She can willingly submit to the authority around her because she knows God is the ultimate authority in her life. She can lay her head down each night knowing she has served well, loved well, and given all to the glory of the Lord (I want to be this woman).
Believe me when I say… It is a battle. Also, I can say with confidence, I am a work in progress, as I am sure we all are. However, let us all pursue God in a way that we too will be able to stand with our heads held high. And not because of any great accomplishments we have done, but because of who Christ is in our lives. May we have full assurance that He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). As we grow in this true confidence, may others begin to see women who are radiating the reflection of God’s glory.
For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught. Prov. 3:26
In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.
Prov. 14:26
I don’t even know where to begin. Aug. has come and gone, and it has been quite the month for the Crosby’s. We have so much to be thankful for. The celebrations seemed as if they were never ending during this month; however, I could not have done it without many hands and the willingness of others to help bring about celebration, joy, and jubilee to our family…
First, my husband celebrated his 50th birthday. What better way to celebrate than to go the the lake for a day of swimming, jet skiing, and eating s’mores by the camp fire; however, we had no idea that the lake was going to be nearly dried up and it would practically take carrying the jet skis past the deep mud to get it into deeper waters. We had no idea that getting rained on would be considered a blessing to cool us off from the hot blazing sun because we had no shade. Thank you to my friends who stuck with us on this day of uncertainty so that in the end it turned out to be day that my husband would remember for a long time.
Second, baby shower for my daughter-n-love. It was such a sweet time. A big thank you to all who came and showered her with gifts and love. It was kind of surreal to me, because those who know me well know how long I’ve been anticipating becoming a grandmother.The day was finally here! All my many prayers for a new legacy and deep firm roots in my family were continuing to be established through my first born son. Not only was I being blessed with a new grandbaby, I was also blessed with my precious granddaughter, Sawyer. Bonus! God is good!
Finally, this one is bittersweet. I was amazed at all who showed up to help celebrate and send Meranda off to college. We even had family come in from Detroit:) The day started off with rain, but with a lot of pleading and tearful prayers-all mine… ( Yes, the main reason was I didn’t know how I was going to squeeze 70 people into my house 🙂 The weather cleared up and it was tons of fun. Thank you, Jesus! So many of you helped shape my daughter into the woman she is today. As she steps out into the world, she will carry the kind words of encouragement, the love of many, and her faith in Jesus that has been enriched and strenghted because of you. As her mom, I am truly grateful.
As you can see so much to be thankful for. The cherry on the top was after, Evaleigh Denise Crosby, was born to Anthony and Emily on Aug. 19th. I was blessed with the opportunity to spend everyday at the hospital with the happy couple, and I was able to travel home with them and spend 8 days loving on my grandbabies. Oh, Jesus, I don’t deserve any of this; however, I am thankful that through Your grace You see fit to bless me anyway.
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. – 2 Tim. 1:5
Pastor Anthony Crosby-Family Ministries Pastor
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I will just jump right into it. When I was 5 years old my mom fell in love with a married man. The two of them decided to leave behind their spouses to run away with each other. As far back as I can remember, this is how my life began. We moved from town to town not really calling any place home, even back then I guess I was longing for some sense of belonging. My mom and step-dad have a bi-racial relationship; growing up this was no big deal, but I guess later in life this lead me to search for an identity.
Who was I?
I didn’t get reunited with my bio-dad until 10 years later. He lived in the South. I didn’t find any sense of belonging there. And I wasn’t like most of the kids I was raised up with, so I didn’t feel I belonged there either. Where did I belong?
Here begins my quest to fill that longing. I decided to turn to everything I thought would satisfy that need: alcohol, sex, stealing. I think you get the idea. When all this was not working, I thought having a baby of my own to love and cherish would be the right thing to do, so I sought out to get pregnant, which lead to my relationship with my husband. I don’t think I have to tell you it didn’t take long for this plan to fall apart. At the time, I begin to feel like all my choices in life were exhausted. This was my life so I needed to deal with it. I was hopeless.
The turning point: Well, one day things began to change. I was not looking for a Savior, but one came looking for me. I was driving home from “Reno” after a long night of partying with a girlfriend, even though I shouldn’t have been on the road. I lived two hours away. I really don’t have the words to describe what happened next. I was driving through a traffic light when things went blurry. I thought the light was green, but the next thing I knew lights and horns were blaring all around me. In that quick moment, I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I thought my life was over at that point. All I could do was close my eyes. The next thing I knew I was through the light shocked and amazed sitting on the side of the road. My life had been spared! Little did I know I was on a journey to a new life. That night was the first time I began to question life in this kind of way. What was I doing with my life? There had to be more.
I still didn’t know what any of this meant. All I know is I started to have this feeling that something was missing in my life. God started to pursue me in different ways: I came home one day and found a bible on my doorstep; I stared to notice that something was different in this mom who would often roam around our neighborhood with her children. She was actually happy and full of peace! Everything I was longing for. SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN! (Remember, someone is always watching).
Then one day…………these words came out of my mouth, “I am going down to the church chapel service (my husband was active duty in the Marine Corps). My husband about fell over in his chair. He said,” You the person with the foul mouth, the person who looked forward to every weekend just so you could go out and get drunk, the person who was always so angry that you would put holes in walls.” All I could do was sit in the chair and cry. He finally ended with, “Fine, don’t be coming home trying to get me to believe any of that crazy stuff” (Little did he know what the future had in store for him…smile).
Sunday came and it was time to head down to the chapel. When I got in the parking lot the first thought that ran though my mind was.. “What in the world are you doing?” As I was walking up to the door I noticed there was no one walking in. I was late! I went to turn around and go back to my car, when a hand reached out and touched my shoulders. It was the Chaplin himself. He asked, “Where are you going?” I said, “I don’t belong here, so I was leaving.” He slowly turned me around and walked me through the doors.
And here is the short ending, I have never turned back. I found everything I was looking for in Jesus Christ. I found the identity I was looking for. I found the peace that I didn’t even know existed. My life was forever changed. I had been blind up until the point I asked Jesus to come into my life, and now I see.
There was a lot of growth that needed to take place. And guess what? Many years later, that growth is still a work in progress. However, with confidence I can say, “It is no longer I who lives, but Christ that lives in me. The life I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God who died and gave Himself for me.”
Gal. 2:20
A Transformed Life
I can’t sit here and say that I totally understand why bad things happen- national disasters, illness, death, heartache and pain. However I do seek to know my God…And I know He loves me with an everlasting love. I KNOW He is in control of all things, and He works all things out for the good.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
I live in a broken, fallen world. However, does that mean I cannot walk in the victory that Christ has already secured for me? Of course I can! I can choose to let the circumstances have work in my life. Even though my body is getting old, and my earth is groaning with birth pains. God is still active alive and working in the midst.
For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. Romans 8:22-23
I can walk in the fact that the Spirit intercedes on my behalf. That reassurance lets me know it’s ok to fall sometimes. It’s ok if I don’t do things perfectly. It lets me know that if and when I do fall, I can get back up each and every time. I can walk one step at a time. Some days I will feel like taking giant leaps, and then other days I will walk each step minute by minute.
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26
I can walk in authenticity…letting others in. I don’t have to put on a mask and fake like everything is ok. I found the definition of the greek word “hypocrite”..hypokrites, which means- play for actor stage player where mask to hide their true self. Exposure is no fun; however, true genuine work and healing can take place when there is realness. Infact, others that have walk the same journey can be of great comfort.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor. 1:3-4
I can continue on a journey of a transformed life. I can also know that I can find my resting place in Christ, a place where only He can minister to me. Sometimes, the simple question is, do I continue down the same path that leads to destruction, or do I run to the one who knows me like no other and let Him begin His healing work in me?
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matt. 11:28
Like I mentioned in the beginning, I don’t totally have this all figured out. Recently, I had to walk through the final days of my step-dad, who was like a father to me. As almost two months have gone by, I am still walking through the process of it all. I am learning that it is just that… a process. The follow things I wrote were just that …me processing. I pray that if anyone else is going through a season of grief that this will point you in the direction of Christ and His love for you. I pray for you to take comfort in the simple fact that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the end. (Phil. 1:6) And, please seek help if need be. There are trusted friends, mentors, counselors that I am sure would love to walk this journey with you. If you let me know, I would love to be praying for you. There is power in prayer!
I found great comfort in this verse:
For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. Psalm 91:1
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Our family had just finished up our one week fun-filled vacation, which included 3 days at Disneyland, 2 days at the ocean and two days of travel. Due to a limited budget, we had to be very creative in how we were going to do this money wise. We decided to pull our travel trailer, which would allow us to stay at cheaper rates via a campground, compared to a hotel. I made a food menu and packed all the meals for each night. And because the five of us could not fit into our 28 foot trailer, we had to bring a tent. Did I mention it was the beginning of December?
Is that roughing it or what?
In my spoiled-american way of thinking, I was roughing it (Please don’t think any less of me). I didn’t have the nice fine hotels that I saw other tourist getting dropped off at as we rode the shuttle back to our campground. I didn’t have the cash, and I wasn’t willing to use credit cards to purchase the over-priced food and souvenirs I saw others around me buying. Not us, we headed back to our campsite to eat our sandwiches. Did I mention I didn’t even have running water in the trailer? The waterline broke the first night in the trailer, which meant I had to cook outside and go out and “fetch” the water every time we needed it. How about this, while my son was sleeping in the tent, someone came in while he was sleeping and stole his Verizon pad and his ipod, not to mention, my husband’s bike. Now I know you really are going to feel sorry for me. The neighboring RV’s around us were luxurious and had multiple slide outs, while our travel trailer only had one slide out. I know I sound pretty sickening…
Bear with me….I come around to my senses…
How did I get to this place where I rated the value of my life on what my materials consisted of? Is the degree of my worth, or that of my family, based off the assets we walk around with? As I began to refocus my thinking, I began to see the joy in the mist of the simplicity of life (And, I know maybe not even what some would call simplicity). We were forced to lay aside all the electronics and simply listen to each other. My third son quickly discovered that I was the Yahtzee champion of the world. I didn’t rely on Facebook updates and Instagram pics to keep me entertained. We got to spend every evening while we where at Disneyland watching the fireworks boom over our heads. We spent the evenings sitting around the campfire roasting marshmallows. I was living in the simple moment of life realizing that time was going by way too fast.
Nobody, at first glance, probably walked by our “homestead” at the campground and said, Wow! Look at the nice luscious trailer! But if only they could see the precious memories that were being made inside, that life isn’t measured by how much money is in the bank or what kind of “big people toys” one owns. I needed a good shaking and a wake up call. I’m embarrassed of were I was letting my thoughts take me. However, I know I am not alone. We are all so consumed with so much. And if we stopped to slow down long enough, I think we would see that we are focusing on the wrong things.
What are your thoughts and lifestyle saying about you? Where is your focus?
Blog post: What is Your Lifestyle Saying?
There will be days when you’re so tired, you feel like you’re going to break. But you don’t. Infact, one day you will look back and see you actually grew and where stronger than you thought.
You will do anything to protect your child. Let’s just call this attitude, Mama Bear.
Your heart grows with each child. It doesn’t matter whether you have 1 or 10.
You will often feel like you are failing and ruining your kids. (Did I say, OFTEN?)
Daily, you get to teach your children about grace and forgiveness through your own life as you seek to work imperfectly by God’s grace. And there will be plenty of moments of seeking to extend grace and to seek forgiveness.
There will be days you feel like giving up……claiming God chose the wrong woman for this job…Than a good day comes and you realize you’re right where God wants you to be.
You learn that a loving, committed relationship with your husband matters.
You get to a point where you realize you can’t do this mothering on your own. You need God’s strength and wisdom daily. And the connection that other “mommy friends” and “older women” bring.
You learn that walking by example goes a lot further than just spouting out a bunch of rules.
You realize you aren’t the same anymore. You are changing and growing and maturing along the way. Every decision you make impacts the life of your child.
As your children continue to grow up, you learn that you can’t be their “Savior”. Your child needs the have their own faith and walk with Christ.
You learn quickly that you can’t protect them from everything. And one day you will have to release them into the world. You will wonder if you taught them enough. You didn’t! But God is continuing His work in them. Our prayer can be that they would know and believe in Jesus with their whole heart and strength.
A mother’s faith is what unlocks the treasure of mothering. I’ve had many different emotions throughout my years of mothering. It’s through my faith that I am doing something far greater than I can ever accomplish on my own, this gives me great joy! I have been given the special privilege of raising God’s child….He chose me!…He chose you!
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1